oh the joys.

So I went for a run.

I know what you are thinking: "Woah!! Thats Great" "Good Job" "High Five".
(and I thank you for that!!!)

But what you probably don't know is for me to say those words, hell had to be moved, frozen over, whatever you wanna call it. For the close few around me, only they know how sick I have been lately. (please dont start to feel bad.. :)) Unfortunately, the joys of my job(s), the insanity of my life and my go-go-go attitude have finally taken a severe toll on my body. I actually went home sick (gasp!) from work and followed that up with a mental day off. Shocking to me because in all my years working retail I have NEVER taken one single day to myself (minus my granted and lovely 1 maybe 2 days off a week).

My body was done.

I was dizzy, lightheaded, couldn't really focus, walk, talk, look at anyone without wanting to fall over and die in the corner. On top of that, one of my eyes was revolting and decided it was allergic (another gasp!) to my beloved kitty. Thank the heavens for Benadryl!

After almost 2 days of self refocusing, I have come to the conclusion that one cant not be beautiful on the outside without hard work and determination for making the inside just as beautiful. I have been working SO hard on making a career for myself, for proving myself (don't ask to whom....because I dont have the slightiest clue), attempting to find a pathway to figure out my CP and stop its effects,  that I forgot actually FORGOT about me. How could this happen? I have no idea.

Fortunately for me, I was stopped in my tracks. You cant not attempt, believe, or push yourself to utter exhaustion and think that you will still go on, that's crazy. I was running on empty. Below empty. It was the same everyday, work ALL day, go home, attempt to sleep, worry about work, wake up, still worrying about work, go to work, work, and repeat....this cycle has been going on the 3 months. It makes me tired just thinking about it. So, I stopped it. Plain and simple. goodbye. goodbye insanity. hello Janet.

For those who truly know me, this should be an eye opener. When have I ever cared enough to stop working? .....never. But I am now. I am turning the big 30! eeek! And as cliche as it is : Life is too short. YOLO. Carpe Diem. So on and so forth.

So I went for a run. and I RAN! (with the help of Usher....swoon) up and down the hills of Burlington. Ridding my body of this hate that I have caused to build up inside me. Ridding myself of the exhaustion and dependency on coffee to make me function everyday. I ran hard. and I almost fell to the ground. But I was happy. I was alive. and FROM NOW ON: no more hate. no more unneeded stress. no more living life to make a name for myself while killing myself. Goodbye negative. Hello Positive.