That is what I am currently doing. As my doctor says, I never gave myself time to grieve my loss of Vermont. I just plowed through, thinking that because I was a righteous "human", I would be able to get over it within a short time frame. wrong. that is wrong. I am supposed to be grieving/rebuilding for roughly 2 years. 2 years! I said....I dont have that sort of time to be miserable and whiny and overall sad. But its true.
The first six months are (and all of this is according to my doctor)...time for you to get settled. Find a place to live, learn your surroundings, branch out a little, but not much, just settling.
The next six are mastering that settling process. Learning the grocery store, learning the traffic, learning areas around your new home, finding friends, starting the rebuilding process. But once again, that isnt until 6 months in! ah.
Then you move onto everything after the first year (which is currently where I am at)...I have learned my surroundings, branched out, met friends, learned (sorta) where the Happenin's are...but still..the grieving. This is when that kicks in....I was supposed to be grieving all along..but no one told me too..so alas, I am now grieving.
That is the hardest part. I have learned for the past six months to move on! move ahead! dont look back! but at the end of the day when I am alone with my thoughts..thats when I have been my saddest. Rebuilding a life at 31 isnt easy. Im not sure how people do it after a divorce, or a severe relocation, or anything else...it is the hardest thing I have ever done....and I am alone.
But each day gets better. Yes, some days I take 414,000,000 steps back, but once again....I am grieving. I know I can always go home to Vermont. I know what is there. But right now, I dont think that this is the right time. I have always been one to not stay. (maybe I have commitment issues)....but I think that there is something else waiting for me... we will see.
I found this photo on a greatly inspirational site called "Purpose Fairy".... It hit me hard:
There are some on there that I am working on....AKA # 10. Wow! Like how do people acutally do that??!!!
The funny thing about my "rebuilding life" is that 99% of my friends here are also rebuilding and finding themselves in Maine/New Hampshire. It is nice to have people that understand. And I am lucky that I have 4 of them by my side.
Have a joyous day!
xoxooxoox
Rebuilding is growing, looking at the options. I find that when my choice doesn't meet my expectations, then the man upstairs has something for me to learn about the "wrong choice" that actually becomes a new learning, growing that I am missing. Was it the right choice for me from the onset?? Usually yes.
ReplyDeleteFinding people who are going through the same phase is another godsend.
Their support is worth your time that I can attest to, and in retrospect is and was a comfort for the trials and tribulations in my life.
Silence, regrouping and finding ways to pamper your soul are healthy.
Wow, these words fill my life with such inspiration. I'm quite speechless.
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